Since you're not using these, I will!

Mommy and daddy have The Step. Of course, they haven't done a step aerobics workout in at least 18 months. So I had daddy put all of the risers together so I could get in it! Then I wanted to walk. So daddy lifted the risers so I could transport myself and my enclosure to a more favorable location.

Much better!

OH, I'M GONNA GET YOU!!

Run for your life!! I'm quick!

Pardon me for a moment; I have to do some work on my car

Classic cars are beauties, but you have to be very careful with them!

What the heck is this?!

Why does your mon-KAY need a monkey hat?!

I like it when mommy and daddy have cinnamon rolls!

...because I get to stick my little fingers in the frosting! What a tasty treat!

You know the downside of eating a muffin?

All the crumbs!

Ooh! Eggs with brie again!

I'll help myself, thankyouverymuch.

Daddy is so sneaky!

I thought he was just hanging out with me but really, he was trying to check for a diaper!

I'm a negotiator

You want me to do some things, I want you to do some things. I'm a smart little muffin - I will only agree to do what you want me to do (even if it's something I would do anyway, like take a bite of steak) if you do what I want you to do (make dolphin noises to entertain me).

I'm not silly. I understand the concept of leverage. I know that once I do what you want me to do, I may not get what I want. So dance, monkey, dance. Then I'll consider doing what you want.

Only the real stuff, please

I don't like plastic place settings. You can keep that for yourself. And don't even think about offering me paper plates. I'll take the fine china and the crystal, thankyouverymuch. What kind of girl do you think I am?!

Emily Post would be so proud.

Happy half birthday to me!

I'm 18 months old today! Even though mommy still calls me her baby, I'm a big girl now. I can even hold my own glass cup (yes, real crystal - not this plastic sippy cup nonsense) and drink from it without any help! And without spilling. Aren't you proud?!

More OJ please, mommy!

I scrunch my nose to look menacing

Are you menaced? Huh? Are you?

Happy birthday, grandma!

I picked out a card for you all by myself! But I could use your help in reading it...

Happy birthday, dada!

I know you have to work today, but hurry home so I can give you a big birthday hug and a sloppy, wet baby kiss!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Squee!

Eenie, meenie, miny, moe...

Which blackberry is the lucky one today?

I crack up when I have food all over my face!

It's so funny!

This is where I put things for safe keeping

I *really* want you to stay away from my brie.

Step away from my brie and nobody will get hurt

Mine.

MINE.

I'm getting a jump start on spelling!

I love educational toys.

Open up and say, aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!

It's Jamba Juice time!

Ever wonder what it's like to be me?

Here's a recap of my night last night:

7pm: eat some solids

8pm: drive to grandma's

9pm: explore grandma's house! Run all over. Touch everything. Inspect the insides of all cabinets and drawers.

10pm: drink your last bottle of the night.

11pm: bedtime.

2am: hit mommy in the face. Do it again. Pee your pants. Demand a diaper change. Repeat "pooh!" When mommy pretends to sleep, use your little fingers to pry her eyelids open. Punch her in the eye. Stick your fingers in her ear. Wait until after she finally changes your diaper (after she finally realizes you're not going back to sleep until she does as you demand) to pee your pants again. Ask for water. Drink a ton of it. Demand a diaper change b/c you've pee'd your pants again. Point to your diaper and say "pooh!" Drag mommy to grandma's room. Play with grandma. Find toys in her room. Make toys out of things that aren't toys. Take grandma's flashlight and point it in mommy's eyes. Clap. Do it again. Ask for more water. Walk back to your room. Demand to play with grandma some more. Get mad if mommy doesn't immediately take you to her. Go play with grandma. Get mad that mommy left you playing with grandma and tried to go to bed. Follow her to her room. Demand to play with grandma some more. Get mad if mommy doesn't immediately take you to her. Go play with grandma. Get mad that mommy tried to go to bed. Follow her to her room. Demand to play with grandma some more. Get mad if mommy doesn't immediately take you to her. Go play with grandma. Get mad that mommy tried to go to bed. Follow her to her room. Demand to play with grandma some more. Get mad if mommy doesn't immediately take you to her. Go play with grandma. Get mad that mommy tried to go to bed. Follow her to her room. Ask for a drink of water. Demand to wash your hands. Grab a rubber ducky from the bathroom. Make it squeak. Do it again. Laugh really loud at the squeaky ducky. Understand why Ernie loves his rubber ducky so much. Ask for more water. Go back to your room. Ask for more water. Demand to wash your hands again. Go back to your room again. Do it all a third time. Get mad when mommy doesn't believe your hands are dirty after being washed twice in five minutes. Ask for more water. Hit mommy in the face when she tries to sleep. Ask for water. When mommy says no more water but you can have milk, agree to have milk. Play with grandma while mommy makes your milk. Drink 1 oz. of milk and pee your pants because of all the water you drank over the course of the past 2 1/2 hours. Demand a diaper change. Refuse to drink more milk until you get a fresh diaper. These conditions are intolerable! Get a fresh diaper and refuse to put pants on. Put your pants on, but remove a sock. Make mommy smell your exposed foot. Do it again. Clap for her. Make her do it again. Laugh as you shove your big toe in her nose. Drink another ounce of milk. Stick your fingers in mommy's ear. Tickle mommy. Pull her hair.

5am: decide you've had enough of this and fall asleep while finishing the last 2 oz. of your milk. Let mommy brush your teeth as you sleep.

7:35am: wake up, hug mommy and ask for grandma. She's up and ready to play, right?

I get the distinct feeling that I'm getting hosed here

This isn't what I had in mind when I said "vroom." If I wanted to *push* a car, I would have asked for a Jaguar or Porsche. Those things never run. Next time, please keep in mind that "vroom" means put me on my pink cruiser and push me around.

Who needs hand wipes when I have you?!

Sometimes I play with things that get my hands dirty. Not dirty things - just yogurt, lotion or stickers that leave remnants on my fingers. I don't like having things on my hands. So you'll understand if I use you as my personal wipe to remove the remnants, right?

Good. I'm glad we got that straightened out.

Yep, that's my "Darth Doodie" face

Soooo self-satisfied.

You know that just after a snack "happy full" feeling?

Yeah, I've got that.

I made daddy wear his SpongeBob shirt and play with SpongeBob toys with me

This way, daddy!

My shoes are so special, I can put them wherever I want

I can walk around the house with them, they can go on the furniture, or I can leave them on mommy's towel! I've also been known to nap while wearing shoes. Dorothy and her red slippers just can't compete!

Daddy showed me how to scroll through pictures of myself on mommy's camera

I love looking at pictures of myself! And now I can do it without assistance! I'm a techno-pro.

Yeah, I see you still there with your camera

And yeah, that's why I looked at you and struck a pose for your picture in the middle of my walk.

I do what I want!

Sometimes mommy and daddy ask me not to do certain things (i.e. throw food on the ground, turn on the water when my feet -- with socks -- are in the sink, take off my dirty diaper). I look at them right in the eye, smile and do exactly what they asked me not to do. Not only am I exerting my independence, I'm showing them who's boss! They seem to be confused about who's in charge. These people sure are dense... 17 months and they still think they're supreme dictators of this house.

I do what I want!

Mommy and daddy really let me do whatever I want while I eat

Including kick off my sock and wiggle my little toes at mommy!

(Please note that mommy and daddy had just unsnapped my five-point harness to remove me from the high chair and that both of them were within inches of me when these picture were taken. Safety first!)

Mommy, please take me to France.

They have pain au chocolat (chocolate croissants), steak frites AND the world's best brie. And I hear the fashion is top notch. WHY do we not live there?!

Thanks, Auntie Jill!

SpongeBob AWESOMEPants!

I'm an Atkins baby!

Mommy isn't sure how, but somehow I instinctively know when there is meat around. I don't care for carbs (you can keep the mashed potatoes to yourself, blekht!), but I will eat chicken, turkey or steak like you wouldn't believe! I also love cheese, sausage and bacon.

Maybe people on "The Biggest Loser" should try the Caroline diet! I'm very fit.

I help daddy play Facebook games

Here I am helping him play Mafia Wars. Most helpful baby EVER.

Mornings are so cruel!

I'm still a sleepy little baby! Are you sure I don't get another 30 minutes?

I enjoy my new ball popper toy!

Good stuff!

Squee! Hide and seek is harder than it sounds!

I think they saw me!

Grandpa really enjoyed visiting this weekend!

Grandpa always complains that grandma is a baby hog and that he doesn't get enough time with me when she's around. Grandma was in Minnesota this weekend visiting her sisters, so he came over alone to see me. When I saw him, I got a BIG smile over my face and started laughing almost uncontrollably! I couldn't help it - I knew what fun was in store! Grandpa was relieved that, finally, he could have the baby all to himself for a while, without grandma hoarding all the baby time (for once!). We played catch, we had some Persian food, we walked, we played with my ball popper toy and we played hide and seek. Lots of great fun was had by all!

I recognize Maison du Chocolat chocolate anywhere!

I rifled through several different dark chocolate bars to find this one. Then I very carefully opened the package and unwrapped a piece of chocolate for myself. Who said toddlers can't take care of themselves?!

I'm not sure how I feel about this sippy thing

I prefer regular cups. I see water in my sippy, but it just won't come out!!

Eggs and brie! Eggs and brie! I love to eat my eggs with brie!

I love brie. Every weekend, mommy makes me scrambled eggs with brie for breakfast. We eat it while singing:

Eggs and brie! Eggs and brie!
I love to eat my eggs with brie!
Eggs and brie! Eggs and brie!
Don't you wish that you were me?
Eggs and brie! All for me!
Yummy, yummy in my tummy!

Now who's coming over for brunch?! Mommy makes some delicious frittata, too!

You look like you're taking a nap

I'm going to sit on your head! There's no sleeping on the job! Now dance, monkey, dance!!

Ever wonder how toddlers have so much energy?

We come with chargers.

Mommy uses gauze to clean my face after I finish eating solids

I shove the wet gauze into my mouth, just to be funny. I always get a laugh!!

Prunes? Really?

Do I *LOOK* like a senior citizen? Prunes?!

Mommy and I went to feed my squirrel friend some Ritz crackers and Pirate's Booty!

He gobbled it all up!

I hardly fit in my bassinet now

But I insist on taking naps there, even if I have to go froggy-legged!

I always have so much fun with grandma and grandpa

Just look at the big ol' smile on my face!

Grandpa got in on the act, too!