Since you're not using these, I will!

Mommy and daddy have The Step. Of course, they haven't done a step aerobics workout in at least 18 months. So I had daddy put all of the risers together so I could get in it! Then I wanted to walk. So daddy lifted the risers so I could transport myself and my enclosure to a more favorable location.

Much better!

OH, I'M GONNA GET YOU!!

Run for your life!! I'm quick!

Pardon me for a moment; I have to do some work on my car

Classic cars are beauties, but you have to be very careful with them!

What the heck is this?!

Why does your mon-KAY need a monkey hat?!

I like it when mommy and daddy have cinnamon rolls!

...because I get to stick my little fingers in the frosting! What a tasty treat!

You know the downside of eating a muffin?

All the crumbs!

Ooh! Eggs with brie again!

I'll help myself, thankyouverymuch.

Daddy is so sneaky!

I thought he was just hanging out with me but really, he was trying to check for a diaper!

I'm a negotiator

You want me to do some things, I want you to do some things. I'm a smart little muffin - I will only agree to do what you want me to do (even if it's something I would do anyway, like take a bite of steak) if you do what I want you to do (make dolphin noises to entertain me).

I'm not silly. I understand the concept of leverage. I know that once I do what you want me to do, I may not get what I want. So dance, monkey, dance. Then I'll consider doing what you want.

Only the real stuff, please

I don't like plastic place settings. You can keep that for yourself. And don't even think about offering me paper plates. I'll take the fine china and the crystal, thankyouverymuch. What kind of girl do you think I am?!

Emily Post would be so proud.

Happy half birthday to me!

I'm 18 months old today! Even though mommy still calls me her baby, I'm a big girl now. I can even hold my own glass cup (yes, real crystal - not this plastic sippy cup nonsense) and drink from it without any help! And without spilling. Aren't you proud?!

More OJ please, mommy!

I scrunch my nose to look menacing

Are you menaced? Huh? Are you?

Happy birthday, grandma!

I picked out a card for you all by myself! But I could use your help in reading it...

Happy birthday, dada!

I know you have to work today, but hurry home so I can give you a big birthday hug and a sloppy, wet baby kiss!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Squee!

Eenie, meenie, miny, moe...

Which blackberry is the lucky one today?

I crack up when I have food all over my face!

It's so funny!

This is where I put things for safe keeping

I *really* want you to stay away from my brie.

Step away from my brie and nobody will get hurt

Mine.

MINE.

I'm getting a jump start on spelling!

I love educational toys.

Open up and say, aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!

It's Jamba Juice time!

Ever wonder what it's like to be me?

Here's a recap of my night last night:

7pm: eat some solids

8pm: drive to grandma's

9pm: explore grandma's house! Run all over. Touch everything. Inspect the insides of all cabinets and drawers.

10pm: drink your last bottle of the night.

11pm: bedtime.

2am: hit mommy in the face. Do it again. Pee your pants. Demand a diaper change. Repeat "pooh!" When mommy pretends to sleep, use your little fingers to pry her eyelids open. Punch her in the eye. Stick your fingers in her ear. Wait until after she finally changes your diaper (after she finally realizes you're not going back to sleep until she does as you demand) to pee your pants again. Ask for water. Drink a ton of it. Demand a diaper change b/c you've pee'd your pants again. Point to your diaper and say "pooh!" Drag mommy to grandma's room. Play with grandma. Find toys in her room. Make toys out of things that aren't toys. Take grandma's flashlight and point it in mommy's eyes. Clap. Do it again. Ask for more water. Walk back to your room. Demand to play with grandma some more. Get mad if mommy doesn't immediately take you to her. Go play with grandma. Get mad that mommy left you playing with grandma and tried to go to bed. Follow her to her room. Demand to play with grandma some more. Get mad if mommy doesn't immediately take you to her. Go play with grandma. Get mad that mommy tried to go to bed. Follow her to her room. Demand to play with grandma some more. Get mad if mommy doesn't immediately take you to her. Go play with grandma. Get mad that mommy tried to go to bed. Follow her to her room. Demand to play with grandma some more. Get mad if mommy doesn't immediately take you to her. Go play with grandma. Get mad that mommy tried to go to bed. Follow her to her room. Ask for a drink of water. Demand to wash your hands. Grab a rubber ducky from the bathroom. Make it squeak. Do it again. Laugh really loud at the squeaky ducky. Understand why Ernie loves his rubber ducky so much. Ask for more water. Go back to your room. Ask for more water. Demand to wash your hands again. Go back to your room again. Do it all a third time. Get mad when mommy doesn't believe your hands are dirty after being washed twice in five minutes. Ask for more water. Hit mommy in the face when she tries to sleep. Ask for water. When mommy says no more water but you can have milk, agree to have milk. Play with grandma while mommy makes your milk. Drink 1 oz. of milk and pee your pants because of all the water you drank over the course of the past 2 1/2 hours. Demand a diaper change. Refuse to drink more milk until you get a fresh diaper. These conditions are intolerable! Get a fresh diaper and refuse to put pants on. Put your pants on, but remove a sock. Make mommy smell your exposed foot. Do it again. Clap for her. Make her do it again. Laugh as you shove your big toe in her nose. Drink another ounce of milk. Stick your fingers in mommy's ear. Tickle mommy. Pull her hair.

5am: decide you've had enough of this and fall asleep while finishing the last 2 oz. of your milk. Let mommy brush your teeth as you sleep.

7:35am: wake up, hug mommy and ask for grandma. She's up and ready to play, right?

I get the distinct feeling that I'm getting hosed here

This isn't what I had in mind when I said "vroom." If I wanted to *push* a car, I would have asked for a Jaguar or Porsche. Those things never run. Next time, please keep in mind that "vroom" means put me on my pink cruiser and push me around.

Who needs hand wipes when I have you?!

Sometimes I play with things that get my hands dirty. Not dirty things - just yogurt, lotion or stickers that leave remnants on my fingers. I don't like having things on my hands. So you'll understand if I use you as my personal wipe to remove the remnants, right?

Good. I'm glad we got that straightened out.

Yep, that's my "Darth Doodie" face

Soooo self-satisfied.

You know that just after a snack "happy full" feeling?

Yeah, I've got that.

I made daddy wear his SpongeBob shirt and play with SpongeBob toys with me

This way, daddy!

My shoes are so special, I can put them wherever I want

I can walk around the house with them, they can go on the furniture, or I can leave them on mommy's towel! I've also been known to nap while wearing shoes. Dorothy and her red slippers just can't compete!